


It's impossible to take a goddamn nap in this house

by gwendee



Series: Trials and tribulations of being the son of a father of an overachiever [4]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Crack, Family Bonding, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Gakushuu is Done, Gen, High School, Humor, Just a very overexcited dad, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 13:51:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18718366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwendee/pseuds/gwendee
Summary: What's a teenager to do when your parent is gossiping about you when you're trying to sleep?The next installment in "Gakuhou can't shut the fuck up about his favorite son and Gakushuu has to suffer the consequences".





	It's impossible to take a goddamn nap in this house

**It's impossible to take a goddamn nap in this house**

Gakushuu was tired as hell, okay? He’d had a stilted awkward lack-of-a childhood and a skewed sense of morality and slightly messed-up emotions and laundry list of issues wrong with him, but he still had normal human needs, okay Akabane? And he was still a teenager, and he was doing what all teenagers loved to do: nap. 

Or well, he was trying to. But his father picked today of all days to have visitors in the house and they were making a racket doing god-knows-what in his living room. His father had too much money to  _ not  _ invest in sound-proofing.

Gakushuu groans, and places a pillow over his head to muffle the noise. It works as well as it should, in which case means it doesn’t. He’d used up his last set of disposable earplugs this week because Akabane was incapable of shutting the fuck up and the new order hadn’t arrived yet.

“Fuck,” Gakushuu says. He wanted to sleep. 

He thinks of going downstairs to get a glass of water and maybe see what the adults were up to, but that required going downstairs. Gakushuu squints at his reflection in his mirror just as another set of loud laughter echoes in the halls and thinks, yes, since these people want to interrupt his nap, they should get to deal with sleepy bed-head Gakushuu in all his glory. He doesn’t care what his father thinks, he should get to wear sweatpants in his own goddamn house.

Gakushuu ends up combing his hair anyways. Weak.

The trudge downstairs is ever more perilous as the urge to just sleep on the stairs builds exponentially with each step, but every round of laughter fuels Gakushuu with motivation much like the challenge of defeating Akabane and he makes it to the living room.

And then the motivation to make it out of there triples out of sheer fear, and he spins around. 

Alas, the man who raised him is privy to his tricks and an expert Gakushuu detector. Gakushuu makes it as far as halfway to the kitchen when Gakuhou’s voice stops him in his tracks.

Great. No escape. Maybe he should pretend he had been sleepwalking, wait, no, that was even worse. 

“Gakushuu?” His father calls out again, sounding way too amused. Whatever, this was it, this was Gakushuu’s life now. 2pm in his own home on a Saturday afternoon, sadly interrupted from his nap and about to meet some of Japan’s most influential names in the education industry in a faded shirt with a ripped sleeve and pajama pants with tiny bunnies printed all over it. 

“Hello,” Gakushuu says politely with as much class and dignity as he can muster in bare feet and in cutesy animal print baggy pants. “Forgive my attire, I didn’t realize we were expecting visitors.” He’s really glad he decided to comb his hair.

Gakuhou looks delighted. He must not want Gakushuu to get a college education. 

The dean of Todai University’s School of Sciences laughs at Gakushuu’s poor fashion choices. Well, he doesn’t really, but he could have been. 

“That’s perfectly fine,” a professor in the senior management of Osaka University says good-naturedly. “We were just having a casual chat.”

Ah yes, casual. That does explain the immaculately tailored suits. To be fair, his father’s idea of appropriate attire to grocery shop in had been a 3-piece suit and a watch worth more than their food three times over; but that had been one time and Gakushuu had never let that man follow him to the supermarket again. Maybe this really was the epitome of casual in the eyes of horribly rich people.

“Your father was just telling us about you,” the headmaster of a prestigious international boarding school says, and oh no.  _ Oh no. _

Gakuhou practically vibrates in excitement. Gakushuu hates him. One day he’s going to drop the Asano from his name and this exact incident is the one he would describe in court when asked why.

“Where was I,” Gakuhou says, “ah yes, when Gakushuu was nine-”

Gakuhou was dead. Gone. Disowned. 

“-drew all over the walls. Normal children would have drawn squiggles or simple crayon drawings but he drew quadratic graphs-”

“My child loved drawing on the walls when he was younger,” Todai University Dean says, “I had someone paint chalkboard medium on the walls so his scribbles could be easily erased.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for future reference,” Gakuhou nods seriously, then, “Gakushuu, do you want chalkboard walls?” 

“No thank you,” Gakushuu says softly. The adults titter good-naturedly. 

“Join us, sit down,” says Senior Lecturer in Kyoto University. Gakushuu sends a helpless glance and Gakuhou but that asshole just looks unnecessarily ecstatic and inclines his head with a yes, so Gakushuu scrapes up what’s left of his dignity and joins the group on the couch.

And then immediately regrets it as three seconds later Gakuhou opens his mouth and says, “Gakushuu is a really great baker.”

Gakushuu’s jaw drops, and he turns red. “You don’t have to tell people that.”

Gakuhou ignores him. “He baked these this morning,” he gestures to the plate on the table, which has the baked goods he threw at his father after eating his fill and told him to do whatever with them. If Gakushuu knew the cookies were going to actual VIPs he would have used the better flour.

“These are very good,” Tokyo University praises.

“Thanks,” Gakushuu says embarrassedly. 

“You really do have a multi talented son,” Kyoto University says, “we would love to have you with us in two years.”

“Nami!” Tokyo University scolds, “we said no pitching!”

“It was a suggestion,” Kyoto University defends. Then, “do you want a drink?” She motions to the champagne flutes on the table. Who drinks champagne at 2 in the afternoon? Who pairs champagne with cookies?

“He’s sixteen,” Todai University says.

“We were sixteen once,” Kyoto University snorts.

Gakushuu smiles at her, abielt strained. “I’m going to have to decline, but thank you for the offer.”

“What a good boy you raised, Gakuhou,” Tokyo University says. “If only my kids would visit home every once in a while, I’d have less grey hairs. But birds leaving the nest and all that, as parents it’s our duty to support our children in their endeavours.”

“You can take a drink if you want, son,” Gakuhou says, taking a sip of his own flute, “I won’t even silently judge you for it. Better you drink in the house.”

Gakushuu really, really wishes he hadn’t left his room. “I’m good.”

Gakuhou smiles at him for a brief moment, then turns back to the group and says, “do you want to see a video of the first time Gakushuu came home drunk?”

“Dad!” Gakushuu almost whines, mortified. “I wasn’t  _ drunk _ .”

“You came home smelling of alcohol and stood in our yard to yell at the birds for three minutes,” Gakuhou says.

Gakushuu turns a brighter shade of red. “I  _ wasn’t _ , look, Koyama was doing chemistry and he spilled alcohol on me. And the birds were- okay, there were squirrels and- birds, and squirrels were waging a war on the flowers and they were being annoying. If you hadn’t bought that ornamental birdbath- okay, look, I was not drunk. I don’t drink.”

"So you lead a boring life,” Gakuhou concludes, just as the adults dissolve into (rather classy) giggles. “So you were screaming at wildlife while sober? That’s even worse.” He pats Gakushuu’s head twice and ruffles his hair, and Gakushuu pouts. 

Then, “wait, you took a video?”

“It’s the feed from the security camera,” Gakuhou says, ”and it was hilarious.”

Gakushuu fumes.”I’m going to delete that.”

“If you can find it,” Gakuhou says, “do you remember the password to my computer, or are you going to try to hack into it again?” He waves his hand in a way that’s both a challenge and an opportunity for escape, which Gakushuu gladly goes for. He gets up and dusts his bunny pants, nods politely to his guests, and stalks up with a purpose.

He’ll find the video later, he thinks, just as the raucous laughter follows him upstairs. But first, a nap. He's going to sleep in his father's room because it's furthest from the living room  _and_ it's exactly what that asshole deserves. 


End file.
